I WAS SCROLLING THROUGH INSTAGRAM and Ann Patchett of Parnassus Books popped up with her book recommendations for Mother’s Day.
She was holding a copy of her novel, Tom Lake, the ultimate Mother’s Day read what with the main character, Lara, telling her grown daughters her life story throughout the book. Another pick was Honey, Baby, Mine by Laura Dern and her mother, Diane Ladd.
After Ladd was diagnosed with idiopathic pulmonary fibrosis and given just six months to live, Dern became determined to increase her mother’s lung capacity and days on this earth. She takes Ladd on daily 15-minute walks, helping her mother get through each step by asking her questions about the past.
Ann Patchett then said the real gift to a mother on Mother’s Day is to show interest in her life by asking questions and listening to her answers. Let her tell you her story.
Years ago we videotaped my mother-in-law and her sister, posing questions to them about their lives. When one couldn’t remember all the details, the other delightfully filled in the gaps. They were sitting on the living room sofa, but they might have been on stage, laughing, and soaking in every minute of the limelight. They were being listened to.
My mother died Thanksgiving weekend of 2001. It’s been a while, and yet it seems as fresh as yesterday.
Questions I’d ask my mom if she were still with us today would be:
What was it like growing up during the Depression? (She was four when the stock market crashed.)
What would she have done differently in her life if she could? (She was a stay-at-home mom but involved in countless organizations, treasurer of one, and she was wildly creative with flowers and presenting food beautifully.)
How did she teach herself to cook when she was first married?
What were her life’s triumphs and mistakes?
What would you like to ask your mom? What questions would you like others to ask you about your life?
Mother’s Day for me
Each Mother’s Day since my mom’s passing has gotten a bit easier to manage. And that’s largely because I’m a mom and grandmom (Nene) and I’m being feted by my own loving group of people who call me Mom. But honestly, I’ve felt like an imposter some Mother’s Days, not perfect enough in the way I’ve raised three children while being a busy author.
I recall back when my Cake Mix Doctor books were flying off shelves, and QVC would beg me to drop everything and fly into Philly and take a car out into the countryside to their headquarters to be on air.
A lot of those times coincided with a child’s birthday, a pageant, a recital, exams, times when as a mother I needed to be in house.
One year they were so insistent that I said, OK, I’ll come, but I need to bring my daughter who is celebrating a birthday and I also need to bring my mother who is not well and I don’t know how much more time I have with her.
They said yes.
We booked flights, they sent a limo to pick us up at the airport, and my daughter and mother were happy as clams to hang out in the green room eating free snacks and watching TV all afternoon. When my appearance was over, the limo took us to a nice hotel in Philly, where as a surprise to my mom, her older sister and niece came to visit.
I think somehow in spite of the many hurdles, being a mom has made me a more compassionate cook with tougher skin, too.
You can navigate picky eaters (and not get your feelings hurt when people don’t like what you’ve cooked for them). It makes you more versatile, nimble, and empathetic.
You can establish mealtime routines and repeat recipes for certain people because they love them so, creating a familial bond. You can learn to make chicken soup because people get sick. You can learn to bake cake because people have birthdays. And holiday foods, oh my, they become sacrosanct. The breakfast casserole I share today is one I shared in December 2021, and it’s been in the archives for my paid subscribers.
I’ve unlocked that recipe for everyone in light of Mother’s Day and hope you enjoy. I make sure and omit the red bell peppers because although they are delicious in the recipe, my SIL doesn’t eat them. And my sister is vegetarian, so there’s always a meatless version for her, too.
I’ve never met a mom who didn’t love the practicality and flavor of this recipe. It’s based on ingredients you already have, and you throw it together tonight and pop it in the oven tomorrow when it will bake up to golden souffle glory. She will be in awe.
If my mom were having brunch with me tomorrow I’d pair it with her favorite quirky sides like sliced ripe tomatoes sprinkled with sugar, green salad with avocado and grapefruit, yellow squash sautéed slowly with onion in butter, and asparagus steamed until emerald green and tossed with soy sauce. For dessert? A slice of warm chocolate meringue pie.
And I’d have plenty of questions to ask.
- xo, Anne
THE RECIPE:
The Very Best Overnight Breakfast Casserole
One year I asked my friend LouAnn about a wonderful strata she served at the stroke of midnight one New Year’s Eve. The secret, she explained, was soft bread - you should be able to squish it in your hands. Just cut it into 1/2-inch cubes and measure by lightly packing into a dry cup measure. I’ve kept the ham in the recipe that follows, but feel free to omit for vegetarians.
Makes 8 generous servings
Bake: 55 minutes to 1 hour
Vegetable oil spray for misting the pan
1 tablespoon olive oil or butter
1/4 cup minced onion
1/4 cup minced red bell pepper, if desired
10 slices soft Italian-style bread, cut into 1/2-inch cubes (4 cups)
1 cup finely minced ham (about 4 ounces), if desired
2 cups (8 ounces) shredded very sharp Cheddar cheese
1 cup grated Parmesan cheese
6 large eggs
3 cups whole milk
1 teaspoon Dijon mustard
Pinch of cayenne pepper or nutmeg, if desired
1 cup crushed Ritz or buttery round crackers (about 16)
4 tablespoons unsalted, butter, melted
1. Lightly mist a 13-by 9-inch glass or ceramic baking dish with vegetable oil spray. Set aside.
2. Place the olive oil or butter in a small skillet and place over medium-high heat. Add the onion and bell pepper, and reduce the heat to medium. Stir and saute until the veggies soften, 3 to 4 minutes. Set aside.
3. Scatter half of the bread cubes in the baking dish. Top with the ham, if desired, the cheeses, and the onion and pepper mixture. Add the remaining bread cubes. Set the baking dish aside.
4. Place the eggs, milk, mustard, and cayenne or nutmeg, if desired, in a medium-size bowl and whisk to combine. Pour the egg mixture over the bread cubes and press down on them to immerse them in the liquid. Cover the dish with plastic wrap, and place it in the refrigerator overnight.
5. The next morning, preheat the oven to 350ºF. Remove the plastic wrap. Toss the cracker crumbs and melted butter in a small bowl. Using your fingers, scatter the crumb mixture over the top of the soaked bread cubes. Place the dish in the oven, and bake until the casserole bakes up golden brown, about 55 minutes to 1 hour. Serve at once. (And you can reheat leftovers in the microwave on day two.)
I have been doing Storyworth for three years now. Life is all about moments. Storyworth has nudged me into renewing very old relationships, and getting information that has been helpful in building a timeline as well as regenerating some great laughs.
I lost my Mom Thanksgiving Weekend 2023. She was pretty amazing at everything. I captured her story (92 years of it) on audio or video every chance I got. Thank you for unlocking the recipe, sharing your Mom with us, and inspiring us to bring our best to the table we set.